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[Tony99]

The Ladders

When a man meets a woman, the first thing that pops into his mind, be it consciously or subconsciously, is "What are the possibilities of me having sex with this woman?" The whole first interaction is simply gauging what chances this man has with this woman, and when he's decided how much he wants her compared to how good of a chance he thinks he has, he will rank her and put her on his ladder. The ladder is a metaphorical scale on which all females this man meets are ranked according to how badly he wants each one of them, with the woman he wants sex with the most at the top of the ladder, and women he wouldn't dream of having sex with at the bottom, or the abyss. All other women fit somewhere in between the extremes. Even women he is just friends with rank somewhere in the ladder, because in all reality, if the man found himself with an opportunity to have sex with this woman, it's very likely if not guaranteed that he would take it.

When a woman meets a man, the first thing that pops into her mind, be it consciously or subconsciously, is "Is this guy someone I'd want to have sex with, or is he good to just be friends with?" The whole first interaction is simply gauging if this man is worth her time as a sexual partner, or if he is worth her time to stay friends with, or if he is simply not worth her time at all. Unlike the man, women have a "bi-ladderal" system, or two ladders. One is the Good Ladder, on which all men she would like to have sex with are on, much like the man's ladder. The other ladder is the Friends Ladder, a ranking of all the guys she knows and likes as a friend, but would never have sex with. Ever. At the bottom of and between both ladders is the abyss, which if a man tries to make a ladder jump from the Friends Ladder to the Good Ladder and fails, he will likely fall into, since once a woman has a male friend who suddenly tells her he wants her, things tend to go awry quickly and they split, or the man becomes unhappy and leaves her life, via a NEXT.

The dichotomy of the men and women having different ladder schemas stems from the fact that when a man values a woman as a person to a great extent, even as a friend, it becomes inevitable that he also wants to have sex with her. In contrast, a woman can very much value a man as a person and a friend, but it is entirely possible for her to not want him in a sexual way at the same time. Men cannot understand how they can be such good of friends with a woman and she would not want to have sex with him, while likewise women cannot understand why if a friendship is so strong and good that it has to involve sex after a certain point to a man. The Ladder Theory illustrates the dynamics and difficulties of this social dynamic that has come about as a result of this incompatibility with reasoning between the sexes.